The donkey is a solitary bloke,

He very seldom gets a poke;

But when he does, he lets it soak,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

Cats on the roof tops, cats on the tiles,

Cats with syphilis, cats with piles,

Cats with their arseholes wreathed in smiles

As they revel in the joys of copulation.

The hippopotamus so it seems,

Very seldom has wet dreams;

But when he does it comes in streams,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

chorus

Poor old bovine, poor old bull,

Very seldom gets a pull;

But when he does, the cow is full,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

Poor little tortoise in his shell,

Doesn’t manage very well;

But when he does he fucks like hell,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

Now the hairy old gorilla is a sedentary ape,

Who very seldom does much rape;

But when he does he comes like tape,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

When you wake up in the morning feeling full of joy,

But your wife isn’t willing and your daughter’s all coy;

You use the arsehole of your second oldest boy,

As you revel in the joys of copulation.

When you wake in the morning with a ten inch stand,

And there isn’t any woman in the whole damned land;

There’s nothing else to do but to take it in your hand,

As you revel in the joys of masturbation.

When you wake in the morning with your penis in your hand,

And you have a funny feeling in your seminary gland;

If you can’t get a woman, try a clean old man,

As you revel in the joys of copulation.

Now I met a young girl who was a dear,

But she gave me a dose of gonorrhoea;

Fools rush in where angels fear

To revel in the joys of copulation.

The poor domestic doggie, on the chain all day.

Never gets a chance to let himself go play.

So he licks at his dick — in a frantic way,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The dainty little skylark sings a very pretty song,

He has a ponderous penis fully forty cubits long,

Hear his high crescendo when his mate’s on the prong,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The whale is a mammal, as everybody knows,

Takes two days to have a shag and when he’s in the throws,

He doesn’t stop to take it out he piddles through his nose,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The lady by the seaside was feeling very blue,

Saw the children at it, and thought she’d like it too,

So she bought three bananas and ate the other two,

As she reveled in the joys of copulation.

In Egypt’s sunny clime, the crocodile,

Gets a flip only once in a while,

But when he does — it floods the Nile,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The poor old rhinoceros, so it appears,

Never gets a grind in a thousand years,

But when he does — he makes up for arrears,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

Little Mary Johnson will be seventeen next July,

Never been a naughty, but thought she’d like to try,

She took daddy’s walking stick and did it on the sly,

And she reveled in the joys of copulation.

The Sergeant Major leads a miserable life,

He can’t afford a mistress, and he doesn’t have a wife,

So he puts it up the bottom of the Regimental Fife,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The ostrich in the desert is a solitary chick,

Without the opportunity to dip its wick,

But when he does — it slips in thick,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The ape is small and rather slow,

Erect he stands just a foot or so,

So when he comes — it’s time to go,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The elephant’s prick is big and round,

A small one scales a thousand pounds,

Two together — rock the ground,

As they revel in the joys of copulation.

The camel likes to have his fun,

His night is made when he is done,

He always gets two humps for one,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The oyster is a paragon of purity,

And you can’t tell a he from a she,

But he can tell — and so can she,

As they revel in the joys of copulation.

The wild boar in the mud all day,

Thinks of the sows that are far, far away,

And the corkscrew motion of half a day,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

Now a funny old fish is the old sperm whale,

With a funny little diddle tucked under his tail,

And he rides his missus in the teeth of a gale,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The owls in the trees and cats on the tiles,

One fucks in solitude, the other fucks in piles,

You can hear their delighted shrieks for miles,

As they revels in the joys of copulation.

Poor old Mr. Bengelstein, whose morals we all doubt,

He wanders round with his noodle hanging out,

When he sees a wench, it hits him in the snout,

As he revels in the joys of copulation.

Long-legged curates grind like goats,

Pale faced spinsters shag like shoats,

And the whole damn world stands by and gloats,

As they revels in the joys of copulation.

 
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